


2018

by Katherinexx1



Category: The X-Files RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Getting Together, Romantic Soulmates, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-05 04:53:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14036592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katherinexx1/pseuds/Katherinexx1
Summary: Set after the press conference in LA in January 2018.Focus on Gillian's feelings.





	1. Ice and fire

**Chapter 1: Ice and fire**

 

**20 th Century Fox lot in Los Angeles**

**Television Critics Association 2018 winter press tour**

**January 2018**

 

 

Gillian struggled to hold herself together during that horrible press conference. The looks David and Mitch gave her when she finally spoke the words they feared, broke her. She wanted to run, as far away as she could. She knew the press and the audience would see how she was feeling, it showed. Her face was stressed, cold, and worry lines showed. She really didn't want to be here right now. Her bubbly personality seemed gone, no giggles, no fun,... just plain, unhappy Gillian.

 

She tried to keep up her icy cool facade, but she failed. David felt her struggle, seeing her move uneasy in her seat, hearing her sighs next to him. He knew she was hurt, he knew how hard it was for her to hide her feelings, not speaking her mind like she was used to. He wanted to comfort her, but he knew he wasn't the right person now to do it.

Interview and press conferences used to be so much fun to do together. The always present chemistry they had, seemed to be gone forever. David tried to joke around, luring her out, but he failed. She ignored him completely, staring at the audience, not responding.

 

Her mind wandered around the room, trying to focus on something else, she didn't hear the questions that were asked or comments that were made. Her mind was set on leaving this hellhole, as soon as she could. She could feel David's attempts to make her laugh or to soothe her, but she couldn't stand him doing that. She wanted to scream and yell at him everything she was holding back. Her heart ached, she felt pain deep into her soul. Leaving the show was her way out, she needed to get as far away from this as soon as possible.

 

As soon as the photographers made their last shots, she left the stage, followed by David and Mitch. She paced up her speed, trying the best she could in her high heels, as they walked through the hallway to their taxi's. David wanted to grab her hand, but she avoided the touch, turning her face away from him.

 

As she started running, grabbing her belongings from her assistant, she completely broke down. Tears ran down her cheeks, sobs were heard, her hands covered her face. David tried to keep up with her, but her assistant held him back.

"Leave her... she needs time now!", she softly spoke to him.

 

The safeness of the car comforted her, in the corner of her eye she saw David run towards the car, waving his hand, trying to stop her, his face filled with worries.

She told her driver to get her to her hotel as fast as he could. The car departed with squeaking tires, driving away from David, leaving him alone in the parking lot.

Her eyes were red, filled with veins, her face flushed and wet with her tears.

"You ok Miss?" her driver asked.

She nodded softly meeting his eyes in the rearview mirror of the car.

Her phone beeped a few seconds after she left the underground parking.

_Need to talk! - D._

Her eyebrow raised as she read the text. She ignored it and looked at the buildings driving through the city, feeling the winter sun warm her skin. Her heart was torn. She wanted to answer him, but she was protecting herself. It was hard ignoring him like that.

 

_Gill, please! - D._

She read his second text. Tears started to well up again in her eyes. She felt so much pain not answering. He knew she had to attend some interviews still for her walk of fame ceremony, so she couldn't take the first flight back to London.

She got herself together and typed what was on her mind and pressed send. She closed her eyes, massaging her temple with her fingertips.

 

_Nothing to say, nothing to talk about, everything is said! - G._

 

Hoping this feeling would go away, as easy as sending this message. Her driver was concerned. Normally they had a lot of fun during their drives, she was funny and giggly. Always in for a nice chat. But not today... he had never seen her like this before.

_Some things were left unsaid. - D._

 

His texts were not helping. Every one of them hurt her even more. But she couldn't resist responding to him. In a way, she needed his attention, his words... although she knew it was killing her.

 

_Dave, please don't make it harder than it already is! - G._

The car pulled up at her hotel. She didn't want to be in her house in Malibu, too big and too many memories. The suite she stayed in had all comfort she needed and above all, no aching memories to haunt her every night. She thanked her driver and excused herself from her bad company.

"Pick up my crew, and please tell them to enjoy themselves in the city, they get the day off, I just want to some time for myself. " she smiled softly at him and watched as the car drove off.

_You can't leave me like this! - D._

Her heart ached reading his words on her screen. She entered her suite, kicked off her shoes and fell down on her queen-size bed. Her phone was in her hand, showing David's text. She sighed and decided to answer him although that seemed wrong. She loved him too much, leaving him without a proper answer. She gave in...

 

_You are right. I can't... - G._

A few moments passed before she got a text back.

 

_Where are you? Usual hotel or Malibu? - D._

This was so like David. He would move worlds for her, that was what she thought for so long. She knew he would be there in a few if she let him. She hesitated, still debating if this was a good idea inviting him to talk.  But she needed to talk, the monsters in her mind had to leave. Maybe she could get some closure before she went back to London.

 

_Oceana Beach Club - suite 4.2 - Knock 3 times. - G._

_Fancy! On my way! - D._

_and... thank you x - D._

Her thumb was still in the same place on her phone after she'd send her text. His two messages followed right after each other. Her heart ached, she wasn't ready for this.

She splashed water on her face, trying to hide her red eyes. Her makeup was wasted anyhow.

She replaced her jumpsuit with a casual shirt and pants.

She wanted to text him to cancel, her mind was puzzled, she couldn't think straight anymore.

But 3 firm knocks on the door startled her.

She took a deep breath, walked to the door and opened it.

 


	2. Breakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You wanted to talk, so talk..." she said in a serious tone as she sat down on the couch in the corner of her suite.

**Oceana Beach Club**

**LA**

**04:30 pm**

 

The door opened, he waited patiently for her to let him in. She moved aside to let him enter the room. He walked across her suite to the big window - framed with white long curtains - with stunning ocean views. She closed the door and made her way towards him. He admired the view she had from this suite, moving his eyes slowly to her.

 

Her face was a mess, her eyes red and without sparks.

"You wanted to talk, so talk..." she said in a serious tone as she sat down on the couch in the corner of her suite.

 

He hesitated, he knew he had to be careful with her. Her painful expression made him cringe. She could snap in an instant, he had to be gentle and thoughtful.

 

"Gill..., I don't want us to part like this," he said softly and calm, reaching his hand out to her.

She laughed in disbelief, cold and hurt.

 

"You made me... YOU made me leave like this. I can't do this anymore! It is torture, Dave... don't you get that?! I poured my heart out, I told you how I felt and still feel. " she brought out, covering her face with her hand. She tried to hold back the tears, her lips trembled... she sobbed.

 

His face broke as he saw her cry, he couldn't stand seeing her like that. Normally he would have stepped over to her and to hold her in his arms, comforting her, but this wasn't the time.

Her pain hurt him as much.

 

" Gill, please... be calm. Why change all this, we were good together before? Getting together in secret, making out, giving fans things to talk about during interviews," he tried to talk some sense into her.

"I haven't forgotten our nights and moments filled with passion, fire, and love, in our trailers, the woods, hotel rooms, in the back of a car,..."

 

Her eyes looked up through her tears.

"Listen, this isn't just some game to me, this is my life and I am sick of playing games. My life has been one big joke until I decided to come clean, to be honest with myself and you.

Peter and I, that's all just an act, I told you that before. He needs me for his appearances. I am sick of that too, I am no trophy wife! I felt so used and abused by him in Portofino, that wasn't a part of the deal. And you are right, I don't smile when I am with him, that's because I don't like him, I don't love him!" her sobs prevented her from talking anymore.

 

He stared at her, her words still echoed in his head. He remembered her declaration of love towards him a few days ago. She told him during dinner at his place. She poured her heart out and he had reacted the wrong way, he knew that now. The countless passionate fucks they shared weren't just fun to her, she really loved him. He never realized that.

 

"I was a little offended by Portofino yes... I couldn't believe what I saw. That isn't you! Why..."

He hesitated.

 

"Why...??  I had no choice! Dave, you really think that I fuck that guy? That I cry out his name after a passionate make-out session? I don't! I hate him!

You know what happens when you and I are together. In interviews, photo shoots, tv shows, I can't hold myself back anymore, I can't hide it anymore, I can't keep my hands off of you. And I know you feel it and want it too! Don't you see the difference? " she cried. Her heart was broken by him.

 

He sat next to her on the couch, he wanted to hug her or wrap his arm around her, but he was afraid she wouldn't allow him.

She grabbed his hand and turned her flushed face at him. "Don't you see... you've really hurt me! You've crushed my heart. I know you love me above anything else, but you choose her? That servant girl? Just because you want to keep me as a backup, in secret? Because you don't want the fans to know. That's cruel! I don't deserve that!"

 

He listened and was crushed by her honest confessions.

"Monique and me, that's... " he started.

"That's what...!?" she snapped, "Sex, lust... she's is just a fucktoy, Dave, come on! You are acting like some old pervert rock star. Be honest with yourself!"

 

She stood up and walked away from the couch, turning her back to him.

"I have nothing more to say!"

 

His eyes traveled from her back to the floor. He sighed and swallowed hard. He knew he was causing her pain. He had turned her down, the one woman he truly loved. He made her feel like some backup secret lover he could fuck whenever he wanted.

He wasn't able to say to her what he really felt. His fling with Monique was just revenge, because of Gillian's Portofino adventure.

Why was it so hard telling her he felt the same for her. He knew she was the perfect woman for him.

 

"I do love you, Gillian! I hope you know..." he whispered standing behind her. She could feel his breath brush her hair.

"If you want me to leave, I will...!  But I just wanted to tell you that you mean more to me than any other woman ever did. You have always been the one that makes me happy, made me smile, brought out the best in me. I haven't forgotten our nights together, our passion, our chemistry and I will never forget them. You are the best thing that came into my life, in these 25 years we've had our struggles and fights, but we grew stronger together.

I've known you for so long now, I just know you.

But I never thought you were here to stay, to commit to anyone, to me. I was under the impression you wanted to explore, to be free... no boundaries, no commitments.

A free spirit exploring the world.

But this afternoon at that press conference, that was so painful, I never wanted this. I don't care if you leave the show, I really don't, just don't leave ME. Not like this."

 

She had listened to his kind words, she was ready to give in to hug him and make love to him, but a little voice inside her mind held her back. Decisions had to be made. She turned around meeting his eyes.

He immediately connected with her gaze, waiting for her to speak.

 

"Your tour starts in a few weeks, will you go without her?" she asked.

 

"Arrangements have been made... I don't know... if I can change anything..."

She stopped him.

"All I needed to know!" she answered while making her way to the door. She opened it and waited for him to get the message. Her arms were crossed in front of her body.

 

He sighed, "Gill, please...". She didn't say a word, her eyes were on the floor waiting for him to pass her. In passing he brushed his fingers against her cheek, hoping she would meet his gaze.

His touch felt good like it always did, but she knew this was goodbye. She had to be strong to resist him.

 

He finally left. She couldn't stop herself from crying. She was heartbroken. She canceled most of her interviews and locked herself in her suite.

 

 


	3. Oceansong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Decisions have to be made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen to this - D.

***Chapter 3: Oceansong***

**Oceana Beach Club**

**LA**

**09:15 pm**

 

No one had seen her in days. Even her assistant wasn't allowed in her room. She needed to be alone to process things, to think. David had texted her more than she could endure, but she had refused to answer him.

 

She sat in complete darkness and silence in her hotel room. The stillness helped her to calm down and to get her mind straight. She tried to process what had happened. The fans would be devastated her leaving their beloved show, she knew and felt bad. She had read the reactions on twitter. She didn't want to disappoint anyone, but she had to do this for her own health.

It had been an impulsive call she might regret later, but for now it was good leaving everything here.

 

She needed the cold and brutal honesty of Europe, London was calling her to come back.  

California was her second home, David was too in a way. She loved him more than ever, but he had to make some decisions first. She had to prevent her heart from being broken again.

 

The soft beep of her phone woke her from her thoughts.

 

_Listen to this - D._

 

_Half life_

_Half my life by your side_ __  
Through thick and thin, rain or shine  
You are closer to me  
Than who I used to be  
How can half of everything  
Feel like less than nothing?  
Afraid to open my eyes  
To nothing but open skies

_Someone else's girl_

_A woman makes a boy a man_ __  
And she makes a man a king  
I don't want what's more than mine  
I just want everything  
A man makes a girl a woman  
And he makes of a woman a queen  
I kissed the ground you stand upon  
And laid my sword down at your feet

 _Take my hand and don't be shy_ __  
The damage is done  
Step up, look into my eyes  
You made me someone else's guy

 _Someone else's guy_ __  
But how can I be  
Your man now?

 

 

_Spiral_

_How many times must I tell you?_ __  
How many times must I call?  
Now there's a canyon between us  
And through it, I start to fall  
As I wake out of the spiral  
I know it isn't your fault  
When I tell you I love you, oh  
I know you really don't care

 

She sighed, seeing he had sent her a few samples of songs on his new album. Her eyes pressed play on her iPhone. His voice, the lyrics, the words, the meaning behind it...

It cracked her heart open again. The wound couldn't heal this way!

 

_All about you! x- D._

 

He couldn't leave her alone, he was drawn to her. He needed her in his life, but he was afraid it was too late. That she would leave California forever and never return. That she would break their bond, break their friendship, break him.

 

His sweet voice pierced her brain, his voice spoke to her, lyrics so meaningful and true. She listened, her eyes closed, her mind wandered off. The lyrics spoke to her, they told their complicated story, they cried out for her.

 

Her eyes stared out of her window. The waves were calm on this January evening. 

The wild ocean called out to her. She left her suite and walked up to the private beach near the hotel. The cool Pacific breeze helped her to calm down. The lyrics still echoed in her mind and heart.  

The sound of the waves crashing into the soft sand calmed her down. Her lunges filled itself with the purifying air, hoping her brain would be healed from her troubles.

Her eyes stared into the dark depths of the evening. The waves tried to touch her feet. She would miss these waves. She picked up sand and let it slip slowly through her fingers, a gesture so meaningful at this time in her life. Who would slip through her fingers and who wouldn't.

 

Her silent mind was startled by a familiar voice: "I knew I'd find you here!" was whispered.

In the pale moonlight she turned around meeting his gaze. "Dave..." she sighed, not knowing to be sad or happy, she just felt numb. Her face startled by his sudden appearance. Her eyes scanned his face. His face was still as handsome as it was 25 years ago, the lines the years had formed, added character to it. His eyes spoke to her, he looked worried.

 

"Walk with me," he said before she could speak. She softly nodded and walked up beside him. He had the ability to soothe her, to make her forget her rage, to slow her down, to talk some sense into her. He had always been the one who helped her through her panic attacks on set. He knew exactly how to approach her and how to calm her down. He was the only one she listened to.

 

They walked in complete silence next to each other. He suddenly stopped and turned his eyes to the ocean. The waves glistened in the moonlight.

"I've always liked moonlight walks near the ocean," he said in a low voice, "calms me down!" He moved his eyes from the ocean to her. She stood next to him, admiring the beautiful ocean she was saying goodbye to very soon. She felt his eyes on her and eventually dared to face him. Her eyes were cold, but as soon as they met his, the icy glare seemed to melt away. Her body wasn't able to resist him.

 

"I don't want you to say anything if you don't want to..." he whispered softly to her, seeing her eyes fill with tears.

"Just be here with me, at this moment, together."

 

A soft smile came to his lips, he was glad she didn't yell or pushed him away.  

"I don't hate you David and I never will! she whispered meeting his eyes. "Maybe we need some time apart, to process things, to see what we really want." Her voice was soft.

 

The ocean witnessed this precious moment between two people who were clearly made for each other but were so blinded not to see. Their souls ached to be together, it was so obvious.

His hand reached out and touched her arm and found her fingers. She reacted by tangling them with his. She smiled as she glanced down and saw him holding her hand. Her eyes moved back up meeting his. The connection they had in that look spoke to them. Every shared memory sparked in their minds.

 

"I have to leave soon, I need to get back to London, to my kids. You will have your tour and fans deserve you at your best. I don't want to ruin that for you! The songs you've send me were touching and pure, I really felt it. Thank you for sharing that with me." Her words were kind and sweet. She couldn't be mad at him, she loved him too much.

 

He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her. He hoped she would allow that. The moonlight veiled some kind of softness on them. Her head fits perfectly under his chin. Her arms were around his waist. His hands rubbed her back. She had always felt good and secure in his arms. He had always been a very romantic and sweet guy to be around. He made her feel like a queen, he made her laugh with his silly jokes, he soothed her when things got difficult, he was always there for her. That feeling hasn't changed, it was still there. 

 

"I will miss you!" he said, his eyes were sad and he realized he was saying goodbye to her for a long time.

 

Nestled against his chest, she felt his heart pounding and she listened to this breathing.

Finally she said "We need time. Our hearts and our minds need time, although it hurts me so much, I have to give you time to think. Maybe we should keep our conversations private instead on Twitter. Fans won't know what's happening and they will react, I'm sure, but I think we need this."

 

She turned her head up to meet his eyes. He looked down and agreed with what she had said.

"Will be hard though! It's fun to mess around with them." he responded and she smiled.

 

"My feelings won't change, I love you now and I will love you then." she whispered.

"Just be honest with yourself Dave, think about what you are doing with your life now. Think about West, she needs you as does your son. Be an example for them."

 

Her voice pierced his heart, she was so right.

"I have some thinking to do, as do you! Don't let him use you the way he did before! Be the strong woman you are! Focus on what's important, do your thing. Be wild and bold. You are adored by your fans. Try to grasp that and enjoy that love. Do cons, so you can see what impact you had and still have on girls, women and men. Be confident Gill, don't be so insecure. I'm sure it will give you energy and strength. 

I know we aren't in the best place right now, but we can figure this out. We will." he hoped she would follow his advice. 

 

His fingertips caressed her cheeks as he leaned in to kiss her. For a second she refused, doubt crossed her mind, she shouldn't be doing this.

But finally she gave in.

Although she was angry and hurt, he knew how to handle her.

 

Tears welled up and streamed down her cheeks the moment his lips touched hers. His kiss was soft and sweet, delicate and careful. His thumbs caressed her cheeks wiping the tears from her face. Her hand found his on her cheek. His lips danced over hers, he didn't want to force her to deepen their kiss. Her hand moved from his hand to his neck, pulling him closer. Her tongue entered his mouth and met his.

 

She gasped softly, knowing this was so wrong! She moved away, making his lip softly snap back.

"I... can't do this!" she sobbed, shaking her head. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	4. I'll walk you back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saying goodbye or stay a while longer?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only the moon, the ocean and the stars witnessed their struggle.

***Chapter 4: I'll walk you back***

 

**Oceana Beach Club - private beach**

**LA**

**10:54 pm**

His hand was still holding hers. Only the moon, the ocean and the stars witnessed their struggle. Her eyes wandered over the sand towards the ocean. She hoped the ocean waves could calm her down. His hand gently squeezed hers, making her capture his eyes again. Her head was slightly tilted, her eyes fixed on him.

 

"I'll walk you back," he softly said, she heard his voice crack. Without a word they walked back to her suite, her hand still in his.

She knew if she would say goodbye at the door, it would be goodbye for a very very long time. She didn't know if she was ready to say those words to him. Her mind struggled, her soul tried to process things. If she invited him into her room, things would escalate, she knew for sure.

 

The walk up to her suite was silent, he brushed his thumb over her hand as they walked. She felt him draw reassuring circles with his thumb, it calmed her down. Doubt and wonder struck her, her mind was troubled, loving him had hurt her so much over the years, but still, she couldn't refuse or resist him.

 

The soft lights in the hallway were dimmed, it reminded her of the moonlight on the beach. Her keycard was flicked over the lock, beeping open her suite entrance. He hadn't let go of her hand. His fingers were still tangled with hers. His eyes stared at the floor, there was a sadness in his glare.

She licked her lips, noticing he was struggling to leave her there, it was as if he couldn't let go of her hand. 

 

Their names were spoken and heard at the same time, it startled them they had whispered them together. It broke the awkward silence a bit, as they were forced to look at each other. She couldn't hold his gaze, her eyes couldn't handle the constant stare.

 

His look was sultry, he craved for her, his lips were slightly parted and his eyes were full of desire and pain. He couldn't just leave her there. He suddenly realized this was the last moment they had together. He knew he was the reason for her pain, but leaving her like this... felt impossible.

 

He pulled her hand closer, her body collapsed on his chest. His lips dove to her mouth. He moaned softly when his lips touched hers, a bittersweet collision. Her hands reacted and cupped his face, brushing her thumb against his cheek. Her knees were weak, his kisses always had that effect on her. He held her in his arms, pulling her closer, one hand in her hair, running his fingers through it. Their tongues danced in beautiful harmony as their lips parted to deepen the kiss.

 

The sensation brought back memories for them both. Nights of endless pleasure, lovemaking sessions during filming, lonely evenings spend in each other's arms, ...

 

She pushed the door of her suite open with her thigh. The kiss was broken for an instant, her look was hazy, her eyes love-struck, she couldn't think straight anymore. Her lips full and red from crashing with his. He stared back into her beautiful blue eyes, how could he be so stupid, hurting her like he did. Feelings of regret pierced his heart. Her hands guided him after her into the darkness of her room, the door closed after them.

 

His hands were in her hair, his lips wild on hers. His body pressed her against the wall. Her fingers pulled his hair as she felt his tongue slip between her lips meeting the warm depths of her mouth. His movements were full of passion, desire, love. He wanted her to know he loved her.

Her fingertips pinched his back, the soft fabric of his shirt prevent her nails to leave scratches.

 

 

Their breathing fastened, little gasps and moans broke the stillness of the room. His hand worked its way under her shirt, getting her to pull it over her head. He reconnected with her lips, as he walked his fingertips over her bare skin, brushing her neck, throat, over her breasts and stomach to her hip. He grabbed one thigh and as his hand moved to her knee her leg lifted from the floor. His fingertips squeezed her thigh as his mouth answered her craving. Her hips rocked against his, feeling his arousal grow.

 

She ripped his shirt open, she lost her patience. He chuckled, as he felt the fabric slide of his body. He lifted her up, automatically she hooked her ankles together behind his back. His mouth moved from hers to her jaw, her cheek, down her throat to her neck.

 

His arms guided her towards the softness of her bed as he laid her down. He fell on top of her, making sure his body didn't crush her. He hovered over her, admiring her beauty, his hands caressed her face and her lips. His fingertips guided her chin up to meet his passionate kiss again.

 

She was lost in his embrace, he made love to her like no other man ever could. But it was painful knowing that he had hurt her so much. But she wanted to say goodbye to him properly, she wasn't able to leave him without giving him a proper farewell. She was sure he would choose her sooner or later. She just knew. She had to give him this moment to remember, to cherish.

 

He sat on his knees between her legs, sliding her pants down. He felt her skin burn, he rubbed her soft legs and started a trail of licks, pecks, and kisses at the insides of her knees, moving over her thighs to her flat stomach reaching her bra.

 

Her back arched when his finger slid under the silk fabric. He was fast removing her bra, cupping her breasts gently with his hands.

As her hand moved to his trousers, his mouth kissed her breasts, his tongue swirled her nipples. Her body twitched at every caress and touch he gave her.

 

A trail of clothes told the story that unfolded tonight. They weren't ready to be parted by oceans, their hearts couldn't handle that yet. But time couldn't be stopped, the farewell was upon them.

 

A sound startled them, David's phone was ringing. They tried to ignore it, but the sound kept on going, over and over again. He crawled out of the bed, searching his phone in his pants in the pile of clothes. Gillian sat up straight wrapping a sheet around her shoulders and chest.

Her eyes followed his moves, in a way she was curious who was calling him.

 

He looked at the screen, he lightly sighed and declined the call. Again his phone started ringing, the same caller. "Got to take this, " he muttered and disappeared into the bathroom.

 

His voice was muted, but Gillian could still hear some of his words.

_"You know I was going to call you" - "No..." -"... home soon" - "... yes I know you will..." "... love you too"-_

She noticed that his voice wasn't annoyed with the call, his words came out rather kind and sweet. All kinds of theories troubled her mind. _He is just playing with me -  I mean nothing to him - That was Monique - I'm just his fucktoy - ..._

Pain and despair welled up in her, rage and anger ignited in her stomach. Her fists dug deep into the sheets.

 

"Sorry, that was..." he whispered as he returned from the bathroom, he noticed her face all red and an angry sparkle in her eye, he thought he even saw a tear run down her cheek, he didn't continue his sentence.

"Hey, hey..." he said when he approached her, "What's wrong?". His fingertips brushed her cheek. He tried to pull her into his arms as he crawled back onto the bed.

 

An explosion of words followed, she couldn't hide her jealousy anymore, she was convinced Monique had called him. Tears streamed down her cheeks, he had never seen her rage like this. Her panic attacks could be bad sometimes, but this wasn't normal. She pushed him away from her. She stood up, wrapped in a sheet, her eyes wild and angry.

 

He refused to give in to her anger, he didn't say a word. He just stood there and listened.

Every frustration she had ever held back streamed out of her mouth, she poured her heart out.

 

He couldn't handle it anymore, he took his phone, pushed open the callerID menu, he threw his phone on the bed before her eyes.

Still rambling worlds and sentences her eyes looked at the screen.

 

_Missed call_

_11:43 PM_

**West**

_Received call_

_11:44 PM - 2'56"_

**West**

She slowed down, her voice faded away. Anger switched with embarrassment, she had assumed that he took a call for Monique while making love to her. Instead of Monique, it was his daughter West.

Her body numbed, her eyes on the screen. She couldn't speak, she felt so stupid, so childish.

 

The moment their eyes connected again, she could see the hurt and the pain in his eyes.

She gasped and muttered: "Dave... I... !"

 

"It was West, Gill... you really think I would...?!" he sighed, his voice trembled, his mind ached.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Thanks for reading*
> 
> Tell me what you think...


	5. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Farewells have to be said...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The silence in the room wasn't calming, it was tense, awkward, unpleasant. A light breeze entered through the open window, the white curtains floated softly on the air entering the suite. Moonlight peeped through the cracks, the night sky was filled with millions of stars, some would think it was incredibly romantic, others would hate it.

***Chapter 5: Silence***

 

**Oceana Beach Club - suite 4.2**

**LA**

**11:57 pm**

 

_Silence allows the brain to think,_

_the mind to relax,_

_the soul to revive._

 

The silence in the room wasn't calming, it was tense, awkward, unpleasant. A light breeze entered through the open window, the white curtains floated softly on the air entering the suite. Moonlight peeped through the cracks, the night sky was filled with millions of stars, some would think it was incredibly romantic, others would hate it.

 

His phone was still in the same spot where he left it. Next, to it, a petite frame curled up wrapped in sheets sobbing softly. The moonlight reached his feet, he sat on the couch in the corner of the room. His head rested in his hands, he tried to calm down, being silent for a while helped to soothe his mind. He just couldn't accept the way she acted, the way she assumed things.

 

In a way, he was flattered by her jealousy, and of course, she had reasons to think these things. Monique existed and indeed he had some kind of "relationship" with her. Nothing deep, or meaningful if you liked to call it, that was. She was easy, young and always in the mood.

His own thought scared him, he realized Gillian was right about her dirty rock star comment.

 

The difference was that the only one who could get him angry or could make him smile was the one lying on the bed. He only experienced big emotions around her. She had this awkward effect on him. He had thought about it on many sleepless nights, what it all meant, and he came to the conclusion that she must be very important to him. Maybe so that he couldn't live without her, he knew her longer than half of his life.

 

That's what made this so hard. Their feelings and emotions could get so out of hand, they could get hurt. He was torn between consoling her or confronting her with his thoughts and feelings. At this time she was so fragile, so vulnerable, he had seen this sight of her before, but she was good at hiding this aspect of her character. But he figured, she couldn't hold herself back anymore, she broke down in front of him a few moments ago.

 

His heart ached to hear and see her like this, he struggled to accept the fact that this beautiful human being, his best friend, his love, his favorite female next to West, wasn't happy with her life. She had it all, an amazing career, loved all over the world, adored by men and women, amazing ambitions and capacities.

 

She just had a bad taste in men, always picked out the wrong ones. It made him afraid that he wasn't good for her same as the others. In fact, he wasn't good for her, he had hurt her with his fling Monique. She could fall in love head over heels, losing every bit a sanity. Over the years he had seen her heartbroken more than once. He was there for her every time.

Men had abused and used her over and over again. The warning signs along the way she always seemed to miss.

 

That's one of the reasons he never really wanted a real relationship with her, afraid to be added to the list of bad choices. He didn't want to be a bad choice. He knew they were attracted in a very high level to each other, sometimes the chemistry was out of this world. But still, he was so afraid being the worst choice she had ever made, although he knew he was a gentleman, he never treated a woman badly, he always respected boundaries. The problem with Gillian was that she didn't have any boundaries. He was disgusted with men who kept using her, he felt very protective of her.

 

One night, years ago, he heard screams coming from her trailer. He had to break open the door to see some pig raise his fist at her wanting to hit her a second time. He almost lost his temper there with this scumbag, he had kicked him out with violence. It had been years ago but he still remembered having to nurse her wounds and hold and comfort her all night, because she was so afraid that guy would come back.

 

He rubbed his hands through his face and stood up from the couch. He took his phone and texted West that she didn't have to be worried, he added he didn't know when he would be home. He walked up to the bedside table and laid his phone down.

 

His hand caressed her wrapped up body on the soft sheet.

"Hey, it's ok... stop crying..." he whispered nestling his face in the back of her neck. "No it's not," she replied softly turning her head to meet him. "I went too far, I was wrong, there was no need to yell and being this bitch to you!" she continued ashamed of her actions.

"I know you, Gill, you are fire and ice in one. I do understand your reaction. Your jealousy isn't healthy, but in a way, it's flattering though." he tried to console her speaking softly in her ear. His body spooned hers, his arm fell softly over her covered thigh, her head fell back against his shoulder. He felt her relax a bit more after his words.

 

"But I think you know me well enough, to realize I would never take a call from Monique, being with you! We talked about that before, you told me how hard it was for you seeing me with her. I don't want to hurt you even more than I already did Gill...!" His lips touched her cheek as he talked. She felt his breath on her face.

 

Hurt, pain, love, sorrow, it was all there.

"It's better for me to head back to London..." she said to him, her eyes screamed, turning her face to him. He shook his head lightly, his mouth wanted to speak, but words refused to leave his mouth. "Some time away from each other might help..." she continued.

 

"I... I refuse..." he muttered, trying to form a sentence.

She turned around and placed her finger on his lips preventing him to speak.

"It's for the best!" she whispered trying to hide the hurt in her voice. "Don't do this..." he answered, his voice crackled, trying to hold back his tears.

Her hand cupped his face, her eyes looked into his, trying to let him understand how much this was hurting her to make this decision.

 

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes as she filled her lungs, her eyes reconnected with his. This was the hardest goodbye, they had ever had to make. No words were spoken, his arms wrapped around her, pulling her close to his chest. Her arms reacted to his embrace, pulling him closer as well. Her head nestled on his shoulder, his arms caressed her back in soft strokes.

 

They sat silently together on her bed, tangled in a sweet, but painful embrace. None of them wanted to let go. Tears streamed down their cheeks, sobs were heard.

 

"My plane leaves tomorrow afternoon," she whispered against his neck. She felt his reaction, his heartbeat fastened and his embrace became tighter. She felt him kiss her neck and shoulder softly, his thumbs rubbed her spine.

 

"Let me at least stay with you tonight..." his voice was weak and soft.

She nodded and loosened their embrace to meet his eyes.

Nestling under the covers, their skins touched, spooning in an embrace none of them ever wanted to leave.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my story...


	6. Oceans apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gillian leaves LA and arrives in London.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The complicated relationship they shared had survived many storms, but she feared if it wouldn't survive this one.

***Chapter 6: Oceans apart***

**Somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean**

 

_I miss you._

_Not in some cheesy, let's hold hands and be together forever kind of way._

_I just miss you._

_Plain and simple._

_I miss your presence in my life._

_I miss you always being there for me._

_I miss my best friend._

 

Her mind wandered off... her veins, heart, and mind ached. The sounds inside the plane took over, she hated them, but now they took her thoughts away from him. Her eyes tried to focus on something during the flight, but her mind was troubled.

She tried not to miss him, she tried to let go, but in the end, he was always on her mind.

 

David had left early that morning. They had spent their last night together, wrapped up in each other's arms, not able to say goodbye. She would always remember this last night together. Just being there together, holding one another, without anything else. It surprised her a night like that could be so satisfying, but the connection was just there, it was all they ever needed. The complicated relationship they shared had survived many storms, but she feared if it wouldn't survive this one.

 

He had kissed her one last time at the door before he left, his lips pressed softly to hers, his fingers touched her cheek gently. They held hands, gazed into each other's eyes, they felt their chemistry burning between them. It was so obvious they couldn't ignore the fact it was there.

"I guess this is goodbye then," he whispered hugging her one last time. Her lips touched his cheek lightly as she said: "Goodbye for a long long time!".

"We will figure this out, right?" he asked rubbing her back as he held her close.

She sighed and answered: "We always do...".

 

From the moment his warm arms left her body, she felt alone, cold and abandoned. She watched him walk down the hallway, turning his head one last time, to eventually disappear through the door.

She remembered their agreement, no more twitter conversations, making the fans crazy. They had to figure their troubles out first, behind the scenes. They had some thinking to do, both of them knew what they felt, but both were too stubborn to give in. A decision had to be made, time apart should help them figure things out. No more public things for the two of them, until they made up their minds.

 

She finally dozed off in her seat, dreams about the night and days before playing in her head.

 

***

 

**London  - Gillian's place**

**01:19 PM**

 

The driver helped her with her bags, as she finally set foot into her own house, since forever. It felt so good to be home at last. She was jetlagged, lucky for her the boys were with Mark. Although she ached to see them again after this time, she could really use the silence of her house.

 

_Got home safe? x D._

Her sleepy eyes smiled reading his text. She was confused he was texting her at this time. It was around 5 AM in the morning in LA.

 

_London baby! - jetlagged! Go back to sleep! x G._

_Couldn't sleep anyway... x D._

She left her bags in the hallway and snuggled on her comfy couch she had missed so much. She wrapped a blanket around her legs and stared out the window. The genitor had taken care of the heating, the fireplace was on and had warmed the living room already. She was mesmerized by the flames, they always did something to her.  London could really be depressing this time of year. Dark grey skies, grumpy people, cold, almost no sunlight, while LA was sunny and warm and had David. She shook her head, that thought startled her. She didn't want to think about him, but in some way she still did.

 

 

  _Light my fire! x G._

She just wanted to share a picture of the fireplace with him. But her naughty mouth took over sending him that message. She couldn't undo the message anymore.

 

 

__

_Cabin in the woods 2.0? Can't forget that! x D._

 

 

 

She giggled and smiled widely reading his message and seeing the picture of their tangled legs in front of the fire.

Of course, she remembered that night. 

 

_A cold December night a few years ago, they spend together in an abandoned cabin in the mountains. David's granddad once bought it to go hunting. It was a hidden gem._

_They had to hike all day through the snow to reach it._

_Wooden beams, stone fireplace, incredibly romantic, on the slope of a mountain, miles away from civilization. They liked some time away from the always busy cities they lived in. This was their hideaway, their shelter, their love nest, their secret._

_The fireplace had warmed the whole cabin, they had nestled themselves into the bed in front of it to get warm. No cell phone connection or WIFI up there, they just had each other. Candles were lit and filled the rooms with warm soft light. His arms were around her as her head rested on his chest. Her tiny body was covered with soft, warm sheets. Although she was naked next to him, the fire kept her warm while the freezing winds howled outside the window. He pulled her closer and softly kissed her hair. She looked up to meet his eyes. He lips reached out to meet him as he met her gaze. He smiled "Hi there" he whispered while brushing a strand of hair out of her face tucking it behind her ear, she smiled "Make love to me Dave..." she whispered back._

_His lips crashed on hers, his one hand held her face while his other rubbed her side. Their tongues met and fireworks ignited in their stomachs. The longer the kiss lasted the more passionate it became. Soft moans escaped their mouths as they both needed to catch their breaths. She crawled up his chest and settled in his lap. His back pressed on the soft mattress, he looks up and admired her beautiful body. Her hips grind and rocked over his core. His hands cupped her breasts, squeezing them gently as she rode him. He brought his lips to the sensitive tips and swirled his tongue around them, switching sides. His fingertips helped him by rolling her nipples between his fingers. She gasped at the sensation he caused in her chest._

_Her hands guided his head in its conquest of her breasts. His warm breath made her shiver as it reached her flushed skin. Her head fell back as she felt him responding to her grinding. She felt his arousal grow with every move she made._

_He groaned feeling his erection ache under her heavenly center. He was ready for her, she felt his thumb slip between her legs, circling her most sensitive spot. She cried out his name and moaned. Her movements paced up. Her hips rocked him hard. He guided her gently over his hard shaft. He hissed when he felt her walls hug him completely. Her eyes rolled back, her lips parted and she let her body fall over him completely. He felt so divine inside her._

_His thrusts were steady and firm, she felt him slide in and out of her as her muscles releases and contracted. Over and over again, faster and faster. His hands held her hips and guided her movements. The repeated friction resulted in explosions inside her stomach, she grabbed his biceps and pinched them. She cried out his name, while her body shivered with the heavenly sensation he had created._

_He reacted to her lasting orgasm, feeling waterfalls of happiness spreading in his chest, as she fell down one last time over him. He held her close as his pace slowed down. They panted and sighed in the release. Her body fell on his chest as his arms gloved around her._

 

She remembered their cuddles in front of the fireplace. Her daydream had awoken repressed feelings of that night. That night with him was heaven, passion, love, and lust so much more.

 

_Can't believe you still have that picture!_

_We almost created an avalanche. Wonderful memory.  x G._

_These memories warm my heart. But they make me miss you even more Gill! x D._

She read the text, her heart melted when she read that he missed her. But she had to be honest, she loved him, but he still had M...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She tried not to miss him, she tried to let go, but in the end, he was always on her mind.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Let me know what you think...


	7. Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gillian receives a surprise...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Like a wave out on the ocean, I will always come right back to you."

***Chapter 7: Surprise***

**London  - Gillian's place**

**A few days later - January**

 

**06:21 PM**

_"Like a wave out on the ocean, I will always come right back to you."_

 

Days went by this cold January month, days and nights she had spend texting and talking on the phone with him. David wasn't able to give her the time and rest she needed. She allowed him to call her and to keep her busy texting all night. Their conversations were funny, sweet and hot sometimes. His sweet voice warmed her heart, sweet words filled her chest with the love she needed so badly.

 

She could, however, keep him on a distance to protect herself. Her heart ached, she craved to be with him, she needed his presence. But she could set some boundaries, she knew this was flirting. She often wondered when he slept... the major time difference didn't seem to bother him much, he was always answering her texts.

 

Her mind always drifted off to him, the thought of him, his presence, his voice, his warm arms around her. She looked out of her window overlooking the city, the city lights and sounds distracted her for a second. She liked being inside her cozy home, seeing the city like this. She didn't like strolling through the streets that much, people recognizing her, asking her questions, she just didn't like to talk to people at times.

This time she needed time for herself, to think. To set her mind straight, to know what was good and what was not. To make decisions...

 

She snuggled under her warm blanket, sipping her tea, dreaming about what would and could happen. Nelson kept her company, he was snoring at her feet. She smiled at the sight of him.

Her cozy moment with her dog was interrupted by a familiar sound coming from her cell phone.

 

_In for a surprise? x D._

She smiled at the words on her screen. What was he up to now? He really spoiled her with his attention. She was so afraid to give in because it could disappear so suddenly again. She thought about her answer. She couldn't figure out what he meant with it. Her curious self couldn't resist, she needed to know what the surprise was.

 

_You know me... tell me more! x G._

_Open the door. x D._

She had to catch her breath reading his words. What was his point? For a second she thought he might be waiting at her doorstep, her heart raced, but that was not possible. He could be crazy at times, but that crazy to travel all over the world just to see her.

 

She left her warm blanket, Nelson looked up, not knowing what was happening.

She walked towards the door, wearing an old oversized sweater and comfy pants, she didn't know what to hope for. She held her breath as her hand found the lock. The door opened slowly, her eyes searched the area to find a clue.

 

A white envelope was on the doorstep. She picked it up and took it inside. In a way she felt disappointed, she had hoped it was him waiting at her door. She knew it was impossible, but still... it would be incredibly romantic if that would happen. Although she wasn't into romantic stuff, David had some influence on that. He showed her during the years romantic gestures that touched her heart more than she would admit. He could be very thoughtful and romantic, she loved it, because it came from him. Other men couldn't impress her with romantic stuff.

 

_Found it? x D._

 

Her hands held the envelope as she made her way back to Nelson.

 

_Open it! x D._

He didn't allow her to answer his texts. Her hands ripped the soft paper and her eyes looked inside. She found a keycard inside and a little note.

_Dress up - the driver is waiting for you_

 

The note didn't say anything more. Her mind couldn't think anymore. _What is this?_   _What is he doing?_

All kinds of thoughts crossed her mind.

 

_What is this, Dave? x G._

_SURPRISE... my lips are sealed! x D._

She smiled seeing his cheeky response, that was so him. She had no choice, but doing what the note said.

 

Standing inside her oversized dressing, her mind went into overdrive. Normally she relied on her assistant to help her with clothing choices, makeup, and hair for special occasions. Now she was on her own. She picked a nice form fitted knee-length black dress with a subtle slit on the side. It was elegant, classy and also added a hint of sexiness. She didn't know what or where she would end up, so she had to prepare for everything.

 

After her shower, she slipped into the dress she had chosen.

It hugged her curves very well, the cleavage it showed was very subtle, but also very sexy. The thigh high stockings gave her legs a healthy glow. The high heels perfected the look she was going for.

 

She preferred natural makeup, nothing over the top, a black line to accentuate her beautiful eyes, a golden glow on her cheekbones and red lipstick to finish it off. She always struggled with her hair. But this time it worked with her. She pinned it back, but soft curls slipped out which gave her a sophisticated style.

A fine gold necklace was draped on her collarbone.

 

She looked at herself in the mirror. She looked elegant and still sexy. She didn't know what to expect, her mind struggled to process her thoughts. On her way out she grabbed her clutch, her phone, the mysterious keycard and she draped her coat over her shoulders.

 

The driver noticed her leaving her house, he opened the door to allow her to step into the car.

"Evening Miss Anderson," he said very sophisticatedly in his London accent. She smiled and asked him where he was bringing her.

"Sorry, miss, I got orders not to tell you," he replied with a cheeky smile.

She grinned and tried to enjoy the ride through her beloved London. Her mind tried to figure out where the car was driving her.

 

The driver took her outside the busy city, the London countryside was veiled in the evening mist.

Suddenly the car turned into a lane with tall oaks on both sides. The long driveway stopped at an old static mansion with a stone staircase leading to the front door.

The driver helped her out of the car and escorted her to the front door.

 

The door wasn't fully closed, she pushed the door open, it revealed a beautiful open space with a massive staircase in the middle. In a way, it reminded her of a scene out of Beauty and the beast.

There was a table in the middle of the room, on it a card with directions.

 

She was a little freaked out by the mysteries of it all. But she trusted David, this was his surprise, so she had to go with it. The directions on the card led her up the beautiful staircase leading to a grand hallway. The hallway was lit with candles on each side of the path, it led her to a door on the west side of the house. It was the only door with a keycard lock.

 

She took a deep breath and flicked the keycard over the lock. The light went from red to green, her cue to enter the room.

Before she entered, she checked her dress and filled her lungs with air which gave her the courage to step into the room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	8. Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The best things happen unexpectedly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...and tonight I'll fall asleep with you in my heart...

***Chapter 8: Tonight***

**Old manor Mansion - Westwing**

**9:54 pm**

_...and tonight I'll fall asleep with you in my heart..._

As the wooden door slowly opened, she stepped into the dark room. Her eyes needed time to adapt themselves to the dimmed light in the room, her skin was tingling, her nerves were tense and her heart raced in her chest. She was nervous, not knowing what or who to expect.

 

Her eyes traveled around the spacious room, it was a big open oval space, with big high windows around it. Long white curtains framed the static windows. There were candles lit at various places in the room. She still struggled with her vision. The designs on the floor were so beautiful, normally she would take the time to admire the craftsmanship of the room. Crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling, this room was high class.

Once she reached the middle of the big space as a soft voice spoke to her.

 

"Surprised?"

 

She saw a shadow standing on the balcony outside the room, the moonlight veiled over him, she couldn't see who it was. She was so startled by the voice, she wasn't able to recognize it right away. She pinched her eyes to sharpen her view. The dark figure stepped into the room, as soon as the candlelight reached his face she couldn't believe her eyes.

 

Her eyes locked with his when he stepped closer towards her. Her lips formed a smile and her heartbeat was out of control. He approached her slowly, he was wearing a black tux, white crisp shirt, tanned skin, brown hair, and mesmerizing hazel eyes. She couldn't focus on anything else.

 

"Is it really you?" she spoke with a tremble in her voice.

He grabbed her hands when he reached her, his eyes never left her gaze. She felt herself shiver at his touch.

 

He nodded in response and smiled widely.

"I suppose that means you are happy to see me?" he smirked as he pulled her closer. She felt her feet walk between his, her body pressed against his, his arms gloved around her waist as her face was forced to look up to keep his gaze. Her hands moved over his arms to his neck as she leaned in to kiss him.

 

"You look incredibly stunning," he whispered before her lips reached his.

 

Her lips pressed lightly to his, he reacted by lightly sucking her bottom lip between his soft lips. A soft moan escaped her mouth when he kissed her back, gently entering his tongue into her craving mouth. Her hands guided his head closer to her, his arms moved up her back to cup her face.

Standing in the middle of that stunning room, they forgot time and space, time stood still. For a moment, they lost themselves completely in each other. Their kisses were sweet and hungry at the same time. Their bodies ached to be held by one another.

 

She had to catch her breath, but if it were possible she could kiss him for hours, days even months, her lips disconnected with his. Her eyes scanned his face and searched his eyes immediately. As they met she smiled widely.

"I can't truly believe you are really here, Dave!" she said in disbelieve, his hand brushed her cheek and his eyes reassured her it was real.

 

He smiled, still holding her close to his chest, gently stroking her cheek and hair.

"It's clear to me we need each other's presence," he said softly against her temple.

"But why this place? You know you can always stop by at my place? You still have your key, don't you?" she breathed against his chest.

"This is my way to surprise you," he answered.

 

He broke the loving embrace they were in and held her hand. He guided her to a table in a dark corner of the room. "I guess you haven't eaten anything?" he presumed. She nodded, she often forgot to eat, he knew her so well. She had the bad habit of skipping meals, not because she didn't have the time to eat, just because she didn't think about it.

 

The roundtable was filled with delicious tapas and small dishes they both liked. Red wine complemented the food perfectly. They enjoyed each other's company, giggles were heard and conversations were held. Small steps were traveling towards their hearts.

 

His hand was on hers while sitting at the small table. They were very relaxed, talking and laughing forgetting their struggles and worries from before.

 

"Have I told you, you look amazing tonight?" he complimented her again while she was sipping her wine. "You spoil me with your compliments" she smirked squeezing his hand. Her eyes laughed and the little sparkles that once were seemed to reappear.

 

A little tipsy from the delicious Italian wine, she stood up, giddy and still holding his hand, locking her eyes with his. He looked at her small petite figure, wobbling before him. She giggled and was totally relaxed. He loved her like that, with any worries and doubts. This complex woman was so wonderful.

 

"Dance with me!" she laughed, thinking he wouldn't dare. He stood up and pulled her hand so she was forced to land hard against his chest. She chuckled. Holding her with one arm, his free hand grabbed his phone, searching his inventory for a perfect song. He pressed play and the sweet tunes of Neil Young's "Helpless" started to fill the candlelight lit room.

 

He held her close, holding her hand to his heart, while his other arm snaked her tiny waist. Her head rested against his firm chest, as he swayed her over the floor. The song reminded them of better times. The time she joined him at his New York gig, the fans went crazy when she joined him on stage. In her excitement, she had kissed him almost too passionately in front of the audience. She never regretted that kiss, neither would he. But their affair back then was so obvious, they were too in love to hide it any longer.

 

They looked like the perfect couple dancing in the middle of an abandoned room. Everything around them disappeared, the only thing that existed, was them. Moonlight peeped through the open windows and gave the room a romantic, yet mystical glow. Her head stayed on his chest, she followed his movements, he guided her over the floor.

 

His movements slowed down as the music died. They just stood there, holding each other in a romantic embrace, none of them wanted to let go. His hands rubbed her back, she listened to his steady heartbeat, once she noticed he stopped moving she searched his eyes. The moment they met, his eyes smiled looking down at her.

 

"Thank you... I'm... so..." she whispered, her breath brushed his cheek, her face nestled in the crook of his neck. He felt her body weaken under his touch. The wine got to her, the heavy emotions from the past days and weeks drained her, she was exhausted. Like a ragdoll, she collapsed in his arms.

 

He scooped her into his strong arms, her arm was loosely around his neck, his arms hooked under her knees. Her head rested on his shoulder. The emotions had exhausted her. She felt so secure in his arms, the combination of alcohol, emotions and the heavenly dance finally floored her. Her body gave in, it surrendered.

 

He carried her down the stairs and gently laid her down in the car which was still waiting at the mansion. He joined her in the backseat, letting her head fall in his lap. He caressed her cheek and admired her perfect pale porcelain face. The car left the long driveway and headed back to the city.

 

_Sometimes you can't explain what you feel for a person, you just feel it._

He felt it, this was real!

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Sometimes you can't explain what you feel for a person, you just feel it.*
> 
> Thank you for reading.
> 
> Tell me what you think...


	9. Home again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ATTHS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Making love was never about you and me in a bed. We made love whenever we held hands. *

*** Chapter 9: Home again***

**Gillian's place - London**

**around midnight**

_* Making love was never about you and me in a bed. We made love whenever we held hands. *_

The ride back through the busy city of London to her place took a while, her head rested on his shoulder, her arms rested relaxed in his lap. His arms were draped around her, he softly stroked her hair. She was so tiny next to him. Her porcelain skin was flawless, he touched her cheek lightly to let her know they had almost arrived at her place.

Her eyes moved, but she seemed to struggle to open them. His hand traveled over her body, resting on her waist. He stared at her, he scanned her perfect face, his mind was puzzled. He knew this was the woman he loved. He leaned in, his lips brushed her cheek "We have arrived, let me carry you." He kissed her cheek lightly as he moved away.

The driver opened the door of the cab and David scooped her into his arms and carried her carefully out of the car. "Thanks, man," he thanked the driver and tipped him generously.

He walked up to the front door and opened it with the spare key, she gave him years ago. He slipped inside like a thief in the night. He knew his way around her house like no other. He had visited her several times before, but this was different. The setting had changed.

It was just like he remembered, very elegant, stylish with a crazy Gillian twist to it. Some precious artwork from Piper and lovely drawings from Oscar and Felix were in elegant frames on the wall. In the dining area, she had decorated an entire wall with all kinds of pictures. She liked her memories, she liked pictures, it kept the memory alive. Her iPhone was swamped with selfies and photos.

As he walked with her in his arms through her house, he noticed she removed every photograph of them together. She used to have several nice ones at different places around the house, but he didn't see any now. He figured it had hurt her too much seeing pictures of them together.

He entered her bedroom, it was just like the image he still had in his mind. King-size bed, white duvet covers, flowy curtains and light furniture, white lily's on the dresser. Her room smelled like fresh flowers, fresh laundry, it complemented her personality so perfectly.

He noticed some pictures on her bedside table, pictures of Piper as a toddler on the set of the x-files and baby photographs of Oscar and Felix in their mother's arms. He smiled softly.

He removed the duvet cover on one side and gently laid her down. Her body so relaxed in his arms, he felt her shiver the moment her skin touched the cold duvet and mattress.

She muttered a few words he was unable to understand. He made sure she was comfortable and caressed her face with his thumb.

He flicked on a small light in the corner, the glow was soft, so she wouldn't wake up.

His eyes couldn't leave her, his hands pulled the duvet over her, so she wouldn't be cold. As soon as she felt the sheets covering her, she snuggled under them.

He sat on the corner of the bed holding her hand, admiring her beauty. She had aged so beautifully, she was as stunning as 25 years ago.

He didn't want to startle her, he lightly pressed his lips against her soft cheek closing his eyes taking it all in. He didn't want to leave her.

He moved away from the bed and settled down on the couch in the corner of the room. His eyes were still focused on her. He noticed her calm breathing, it soothed him.

  
For sure he wanted to slip next to her, feeling her tiny body close to his, but he wanted to respect her boundaries, he didn't want her to think he just wanted sex. He had crossed oceans for her, just to surprise her, to show her he really missed her, to let her know he still cared, hoping she would understand he still loved her.

He was pretty serious about this now, he wanted to do it right. Enough with wrong choices, wrong men. He wanted to be her only right choice if she let him of course.

The day she left he had felt so alone, he wanted to text, call or Skype her every single minute of the day. He made mistakes, he tried to set things straight. She was a complex woman, she needed time.

Softly night veiled over him and he dozed off.

***

An hour later she woke up, noticing she was still wearing her dress. Her eyes were struggling to see into the dimmed room. She noticed a tall dark figure on the couch in the corner of the room. As she moved herself to step out of the bed she recognized the dark figure, it was David. She smiled thankfully, it wasn't a dream.

Her mind tried to figure out what had happened. She remembered the surprise he arranged for her, her heart raced in her chest, just thinking about how happy he had made her feel. Fans went crazy about the chemistry they always had seen between them, she always tried to deny it, but this time she felt it herself. As a magnet, she was drawn to him. Her legs slipped under the covers and her feet took her to him.

Softly approaching his sleeping posture, she admired him, this handsome man who she had loved and hated at the same time. In a way that might be the definition of love for her, love and hate combined.

Their fights were very intense, as was their love. She couldn't believe he was really here, he came all the way from the US to London, just to surprise her. And she fell asleep in his arms in response. How could she? She smiled at the silly thought that crossed her mind. She knew he took good care of her, he was such a gentleman.

She moved closer, her hands combed his hair, brushed his cheek and her thumbs caressed his lips. Her touches were very soft, he barely felt it. Her fingertips walked over his shoulder and arm to reach his fingers. She noticed that his eyes began to move under his eyelids, her finger gently hooked under his chin. He opened his eyes and met hers as she moved his chin up with her finger.

She smiled when he answered her gaze. He shifted his body so he sat down on the couch instead of lying down. He wanted to speak, but she had put her finger on his lips preventing him to say a word.

He had never seen her this seductive before. Her hair was wild, her eyes were pools of sultriness and her skin sparkled like satin.  
She cupped his face with her hands, she leaned in to kiss him. The moment their lips touched sparks ignited in their stomachs.

Her lips wandered over his, finally, she sucked his bottom lip gently. He gasped and felt how her soft lips consumed his. His hand reacted by holding her cheek lightly. As she moved closer, his tongue swirled around her lips sliding into the depths of her craving mouth.

Their tongues danced together in synchrony. She felt her heart beating fast, she couldn't resist him anymore. She gasped and needed to catch her breath. Her lips were swollen and red, his were slightly parted, waiting for her to return to him.

Her hands went through his hair, moving to his neck. His eyes were hazy but still locked with hers. She felt dizzy. His hands pulled her gently towards him. His fingers worked hard on the zipper in the back of the dress. She felt the fabric loosen around her waist and finally sliding down her legs until it ended on a pile on the floor.

She refused to move her eyes, he was so handsome, she just had to look at him. His tie was already loosened, without speaking she unbuttoned his shirt, and removed it from his body.

He stood up and she was forced to look up. The fabric of her bra touched his bare chest. Her hands worked their way over his chest to his collarbone around his neck. He held her tiny waist and leaned in to kiss her again. He trailed her face with small pecks, moving from her cheek, over her jaw to her chin and lips. She moaned and felt her knees weaken with every kiss he gave her.

"Are you sure about this?" he whispered through his kisses "Don't want to force you...". She hummed and goose bumps appeared on her skin. His hot breath made it even worse.

His arms snaked around her, his body was pressed against hers, she felt his arousal press against her. She smiled because she knew she still got it. "Never been more certain!" she breathed.

His head moved to her throat as his tongue licked her skin and his lips kissed gently. Her hands tried to guide his head, but she was powerless. David was such a skilled lover, she had to surrender to his epic lovemaking. She had no choice, he took control and she had no problem giving him that.

She moaned when his lips reached her breasts. One hand held her waist, while the other one worked her black lace bra. She felt the strap snap, in response his lips covered her perky nipple as his tongue slowly swirled it. She almost cried out his name, but she held back. His thumb worked the other tip, so it didn't feel neglected. His lips were so warm and soft, the heavenly feeling spread through her whole body.

She struggled to stand on her legs, the moment he felt her wobble, he scooped her into his arms and carried her to the bed. As he carried her, she kissed him again.

She knew what was about to happen, she couldn't fight it any longer. She had been holding back too long. The fact that he came all the way from the US to surprise her meant that he really wanted to make up what went wrong between them. She had enjoyed the time apart, his sweet texts, just between them. Twitter was calm, no more interactions like they agreed. This was their secret.

She felt the softness of her bed press against her back as he laid her down. His warm body tight against hers, the electricity sparked in the air. She shivered as his hands and lips explored her body. She couldn't even specify anymore where each hand was.

Her back arched when his tongue swirled her nipples again. Her lips were slightly parted and she gasped softly. He looked up and noticed how much she enjoyed his touches and pecks. He smiled.

His movements were slow and caring. She felt helpless under his touch, she had missed this so long.

Her hands were in his hair, guiding his head over her body. She gently forced him to move up to meet her gaze. Her hands cupped his face as he locked eyes with her. She smiled as she looked at him, she moved his head closer and kissed him sensually on his lips. Her lips moved slowly over his as she deepened the kiss dipping her tongue into his mouth. He moaned feeling her tongue dance with his.

Her hands trailed his back, up and down. She felt muscles tense and relax under her touch. Their kiss became more passionate the longer it lasted. Unresolved tension and feelings collided at this moment. They both craved for each other for far too long.

Her hands were wild, and almost ripped his pants, she lost her patience, she needed him close. He helped her remove his pants. Letting her take control. Her hand slipped into his boxers, her fingers wrapped around his shaft, he hissed in the response to her sudden move. "Easy there..." he whispered in her ear. "Sorry..." she giggled "It's been a long time ".

His eyes rolled back as her fingers massaged his cock. His fingers dug deep into her flesh. His mouth cravingly sought hers, she pressed her body on him as she straddled on his lap. He was on his back, left to her control.

Her hips ground firmly over his center. The friction she created aroused him even more. He panted hard, his hands traveled from her breasts to her back holding her hips to guide her movement. His thumbs hooked into her panties sliding it over her thighs. He enjoyed watching this stunning woman, her body was pure perfection. He fell in love with her over and over again.

He flipped her on her back again, taking over control. She looked helpless under him. Her eyes glistered with passion and sultriness, she felt more than ready. She felt tingly and her body craved for him. He could see it in her eyes.

He hovered over her, kissing every inch of her exposed porcelain skin. Her body felt warm, his hot breath made her burn up even more.

"I want you so bad..." she said between sighs. Her fingers squeezed his thighs, guiding his pelvis closer to her craving center.

He covered her with sweet kisses and nibbles, licking and kissing her soft skin. He felt her shiver and twitch even harder under him. He couldn't delay it much longer.

Her hand stroked his length in a steady rhythm, she squeezed gently. The tension made her movement twitch at times as if she had no control over what she was doing. He released her, by taking her hand in his, kissing her fingers gently.

His eyes locked with hers, her gaze was hot, sweet and needy.

Not breaking their eye contact he entered her warm depths with a calm, solid thrust. Her head and eyes rolled back feeling him deep into her center.

She felt home again, he was her safe haven, her rock, the love of her life. No other man had ever made her feel this desired and loved.

Her walls welcomed him by releasing and contracting in a steady rhythm. He moaned, the feeling being inside her overwhelmed him. She felt so divine, just as he remembered, but it seemed this was the first time he really realized it.

With steady, careful thrusts he slides in and out of her. He listened to her little-muttered words, sighs, moans. His eyes pierced through her soul. He weaved his fingers with her as he paced up his rhythm. Her hips rocked with him, enhancing the feeling he was creating.

Her ankles hooked around his waist, shifting her center. The angle change worked miracles. She panted hard, feeling the wonders the switch had caused.

A bubbly extatic feeling expanded in her stomach. Her fingers pinched his abs and his chest. His pace fastened, her hips rocked in synchrony with his. His craving mouth sought hers, kissing her passionately as his thrusts became harder and shorter.

Their moans became louder, they were tangled in each other, a union no one could ever break again.

Movements became frantic, the silence of the night was broken with their names being cried out in the release. They both felt an explosion of joy, love, and lust expand inside their stomach, chest, and limbs. Sweat dripped down their skin, breathing was heavy, heartbeats out of control, they trembled of the release of tension.

_* I want to sleep in your arms tonight. *_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me awhile to write this. Hope you like it!!!


	10. Rewrite the stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on the song "Rewrite the stars".
> 
> Big thank to Serah Sanguine who made a Gillovny video for this song.  
> I loved it, I hope you love my view on this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I want is to fly with you  
> All I want is to fall with you  
> So just give me all of you  
> It feels impossible (it's not impossible)  
> Is it impossible?  
> Say that it's possible

*** Chapter 10 Rewrite the stars ***

**London**

**Gillian's bedroom**

 

****

 

 

_***_

_You know I want you_  
_It's not a secret I try to hide_  
_I know you want me_  
_So don't keep saying our hands are tied_  
_You claim it's not in the cards_  
_Fate is pulling you miles away_  
_And out of reach from me_  
_But you're here in my heart_  
_So who can stop me if I decide_  
_That you're my destiny?_

_What if we rewrite the stars?_  
_Say you were made to be mine_  
_Nothing could keep us apart_  
_You'd be the one I was meant to find_  
_It's up to you, and it's up to me_  
_No one can say what we get to be_  
_So why don't we rewrite the stars?_  
_Maybe the world could be ours_  
_Tonight_

_***_

He pulled her tiny body closer to his. He spooned her tightly, her warmth filled his heart with happiness.  He nuzzled his face in her neck, he smelled her scent, he felt her soft hair brush his cheek. His hands found her stomach, he wrapped his body around hers. He wanted to be as close as he could to her, she was everything he ever needed.

It was as if he realized this for the first time after all these years that she was the one he was meant to find.

Years and years of an endless cat and mouse game they so liked to play. Love turned into hate, hate turned back into love. An unbelievable tension between them, a chemistry never seen and felt before. Articles were written about them, fan videos on Youtube, 1000 of stories about their affair made by fans. They had laughed about it on many occasions, that fans were on to them. They always were very careful. Private meetings, behind closed doors, out of the public eye. Although they struggled to keep everything behind closed doors. Gillian could be very impulsive during interviews, her touches and looks were getting too obvious. He had also struggled during some interviews and public occasions, their attraction was so intense, hiding it from the outside world had become a real burden. He knew she struggled more, she had her kids, lives in London, her many projects, and Peter. He knew she was afraid of the consequences and that she always tried to hide away from the public opinion and reactions. But a few weeks ago she broke, poured her heart out, saying at last how much she loved him and that she couldn't deny it any longer. In a way, he had always known.

One thing he knew for sure was that this couldn't stay like this. They had to figure out a way to be together, but out of the public eye for now. First they had to figure everything out for themselves. Find a way how to make it work for them. Occasional sex was fun, but he felt he needed more, he missed her presence in his life.

People would react and what about Monique and Peter? They would cause a scandal in showbiz land, even though people knew it was inevitable them getting together eventually. So in his mind, they had to figure out a way that worked for them, to see where it would take them.  

He needed her in his life, he felt that he just wasn't able to live his life without her. His age never bothered him, but it reminded him life wasn't going to last forever. He needed to tell her this, that he wanted to grow old with her in some way that worked for them, with still enough room for own projects. Thoughts welled up in his brain, his arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her even closer. He wanted to keep this feeling of her close to him, it warmed his heart. She reacted whispering something, nestling herself in his lap. 

He felt complete lying tangled up with her. Their connection was unseen. 

 

 

***

_You think it's easy  
_ _You think I don't want to run to you  
_ _But there are mountains  
_ _And there are doors that we can't walk through  
_ _I know you're wondering why  
_ _Because we're able to be  
_ _Just you and me  
_ _Within these walls  
_ _But when we go outside  
_ _You're going to wake up and see that it was hopeless after all_

 

_No one can rewrite the stars  
_ _How can you say you'll be mine?  
_ _Everything keeps us apart  
_ _And I'm not the one you were meant to find  
_ _It's not up to you  
_ _It's not up to me  
_ _When everyone tells us what we can be  
_ _How can we rewrite the stars?  
_ _Say that the world can be ours_

_Tonight_

***

 

Her dreams were filled with memories and thoughts about David. Her mind always had to process things during her sleep. Images of last nights lovemaking session filled her heart and soul with joy. It was as if she felt his touches, caresses, and kisses again in her dream. It calmed her down, it confirmed her need to be close to David. She needed him, she couldn't deny the longing she felt. 

Him being here in London with her was the confirmation she needed that he was serious. He really wanted to be with her, she knew for sure. But the more she wanted him to be with her, to more she kept pushing him away. It was as if she was looking for excuses not to be with him. She lived in London, had her kids, her projects. A long distance relationship wasn't her thing. She feared they would suffocate each other being together 24/7.  

She was very aware of the press, as a celebrity, she had to keep her calm at all times. Every step she took, every touch, every smile was carefully examed. It became so obvious she and David shared something more than just friendship. Her chatty-self had talked about that in many interviews, sometimes even stepping the line she agreed with him. She knew she couldn't contain herself anymore when it came to him. 

That's why they decided to take things slow, meet up in private, keep their conversations private. But that wasn't enough for her, she needed more, she felt like she had wasted a big part of her life already, giving her love and devotion to men who didn't deserve her. In a way, she was afraid giving herself to David completely. The control freak in her wasn't able to control David like she wanted. Even controlling herself became a struggle. 

She had to admit her love for him only grew stronger. From strangers to coworkers to occasional lovers to friends to lovers. Countless hours together were too much at times, sometimes she really hated him. But that hate could also be called love. She loved him more than anything. She was jealous when he dated someone, felt alone without him, looking forward seeing him at a convention, knowing he was happy to see her too. The "I missed you so much" sex was beyond words. When she was younger she felt ok with is, but now pushing her 50'ies she felt the need settling down in some way. Living a calm peaceful life. Being with the only one who really gets her.

Although her love was unconditional, there was a struggle inside her. Coping with the fans, the public opinion, friends, family, projects,... Regrets filled her heart, she hated being a public person, followed by press and fans, every move she made. She was so certain about her love for him, but reactions were holding her back.

She loved the game they played, the attraction, the chemistry, she loved people go crazy when she touched his hand, or when he kissed her in public. No one knew what was real and what was played. Of course, it was all real, because they kept everyone guessing. 

She never doubted her love for him, never. She felt the need to talk to him, at times she felt she messed up her life in that way all was lost. That they couldn't be together, although that's the one thing the universe was trying to tell them all these years.

She felt his arms around her waist, his head resting against her neck, his legs were tangled with hers. It felt so good being so close to him. This was life as it should be, feeling so safe in his arms, in her own bedroom.

She hated the secrets, not being able to show the world they were together. If they shared this with the public, they wouldn't be able to live their lives in peace. Paparazzi would hide everywhere to catch a glimpse of this star couple. Hell would break loose on them, they wouldn't be able to share their lives together.   

 

He felt her shift against him. His arms snaked around her, his hands gently rubbed her back, his eyes met hers as she turned around. He could almost read her face, he saw the same worry he also felt. Her lips trembled the moment she wanted to speak. He stopped her from saying a word.

"I think I know what you want to say. Listen, I don't regret this, never have and never will. Holding you, watching you sleep, being here with you is the best decision I ever made. It was my choice being here, it was your choice agreeing with this. What we have, we have to stop denying, this connection, this chemistry, it's real. I feel it too, and you feel it. And I know you fear the same thing I do. Go public, and hell breaks loose." he softly spoke never leaving her gaze.

"I'm so afraid they will break us, once together they will follow every move we make. My kids, your kids, they will be exposed to this hell machine. Now it's just me, I can barely handle it, I don't want my babies to be out in the open. That's why, I regret saying this because I hate saying it, being together isn't the best option." she replied calmly. 

He gently caressed her face with his fingertips. His hazel eyes scanned her face and her reactions, he spoke softly: "I want to try this, but on our own terms, our own pace."  
She cupped his face and smiled.

"I'm not talking about moving in together just yet, but just you and me together. Doing our things, our projects, but just spending time together, exclusively you and me. Just to see where it leads us, how we do together. I have to go on tour, you have your projects here and the con in Belgium you were planning on doing." he told her as he pressed his forehead against hers.

Her thumbs caressed his cheeks, she closed her eyes for a second and moved her head back to meet his eyes again. "How?" she softly spoke, "I'm so afraid this will be a mistake, I don't want to lose you, I should be so happy you telling me this, but I fear what it will do to us."

"For now it has to be in secret until we figure out if this works, I have the same fears you do. We'll try to see each other as much as we both can bare and as much that's possible with our schedules. It won't be easy, but I don't want to wait any longer. I have wasted enough years, doing stupid things with people who didn't respect me for me, people who just saw fame and money. I'm not getting any younger, Gilly, I love you, you are an amazing woman, I don't want to see you hurt anymore." he whispered. Her eyes smiled as did her lips.

She kissed him slowly. Her lips brushed against his, dipping her tongue into his mouth. He returned her kiss and caressed her beautiful face. He figured she agreed to his proposition, this kiss felt different. He pulled her closer to deepen the kiss. 

She lost herself again in his heavenly kisses and touches. 

 

This kiss was the first one of their new life... together...

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can keep us apart  
> 'Cause you are the one I was meant to find


	11. This is us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nights and days spent together in pure and utter happiness, in a way none of them had ever experienced togetherness and love before. They shared something so special and rare, a connection so deep, they could hardly believe this was happening to them. They found themselves tangled up in each other, moments filled with endless kisses, heavenly caresses and sultry nights were they lost themselves in a love so wonderful they could hardly understand it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I'd risk it all just to be with you*

**Gillian's place - London**

**February 2018**

**Afternoon**

 

Nights and days spent together in pure and utter happiness, in a way none of them had ever experienced togetherness and love before. They shared something so special and rare, a connection so deep, they could hardly believe this was happening to them. They found themselves tangled up in each other, moments, days and nights filled with endless kisses, heavenly caresses and sultry nights were they lost themselves in a love so wonderful they could hardly understand it.

It felt as if they finally realized what they both had missed in their lives. They enjoyed each other's company, although they've known one another for so long, they were eager to discover every little thing there was to know and to discover. They spend hours talking about their lives and work, family, and struggles. It was strange how well they could talk now, years ago they hated spending hours together, but now, they couldn't leave each other's sight. 

They were both comfortably settled on the couch, watching over the busy city center of London, the silence of her house calmed them both. They both enjoyed the solitude and silence, away from their fame and always in the spotlight kinda life.  

Her head was against his chest, his arms were lovingly wrapped around her, her back rested on his stomach and her legs were between his. Both very relaxed, enjoying each other's company. Her eyes were closed, she felt his heart beating slowly, his hands were on her arms, his thumbs caressed her skin gently. His lips touched her ear and cheek softly and she felt his warm breath against her jaw and neck.

She shivered briefly, getting him to pull her closer in his embrace. "Are you cold?" he asked concerned. "No, don't worry", she giggled, "It's how I react to you..." she smiled opening her eyes. Her hands found his arms holding her, she tangled her fingers with his and stared for a moment at them.  
"You know," she started, "I always thought I knew you... but in fact, I don't."

"Is that a bad thing?" he responded with a little smirk. "No, I just realized we never relaxed together like this," she answered playing with his fingers. She smiled thankfully when he pressed his lips against her cheek. "I like it" she added turning herself to meet his eyes.

He untangled his fingers and caressed her cheek as they locked eyes. A sweet smile formed on his lips and he whispered: "I like it too Gilly." His finger pulled her chin up in one swift movement, leaning in to kiss her his fingers combed her hair and brought her face closer. 

His lips touched hers, her eyes closed as he sucked her lips gently, she responded by parting her mouth granting his tongue access. He slowly moved his tongue over her lips, slipping into her warm mouth. He tasted the wine she was drinking before, the sweetness and softness of her lips always surprised him, every kiss they ever shared. He gasped lightly, impressed by the effect her kisses had on him. Her eyes opened and met his gaze. She was swept away every time he kissed her.

These kisses were different than the ones they shared before. On set, that was just work related, the ones behind closed doors, lust took over their minds, but this... this was different. An unspoken commitment, a connection that was always present but no one ever dared to take the chance.

He held her face a little longer, taking in her blue eyes and amazingly beautiful skin. She shyly closed her eyes and sighed.   
"Everything could be so perfect if we weren't who we are," she said. He sensed her struggle with being famous.   
"I know, but we'll find a way. The most important thing though, is that we know what we mean to one another. For now, this can be fun too." he naughtily answered, giving her a meaningful and playful look.   
  
She felt his hands grab her waist, pulling her close, nestling his face into her neck, softly biting her skin. Although she liked his move very much, she stopped him gently.   
"Dave, you know what I mean." Her hands brushed his hair, he sighed and pulled her close for a warm cuddle. 

He tried so hard distracting her from a goodbye that was soon to be said. Although she struggled to hide it, he noticed his Gilly was getting more worried every day. He knew she was thinking about him going on tour in Australia. He knew she was thinking about the fact Monique would be there too, although he had assured her nothing was going on anymore. He had made some agreements with the woman. He had agreed she was just there to distract the press, trying to keep Gillovny - like fans called them- off the radar. In a way, it was like she and Peter. Gillian knew she had to inform him as well. She feared that moment already.

He understood her worries, he felt unhappy too that he almost had to leave her. There was no way around it, they both had projects they needed to work on, places to be. Being apart didn't change a thing, maybe it was good to be away for a bit. But he missed her already thinking about it.

 

 

"Dave," he suddenly heard her call his name. His daydream bubble was pierced by her voice. His eyes found her standing at the window overlooking the city. He walked towards her snaked his arms around her as her back fell against his chest. "I'm here..." he answered as he rested his chin on her head. He looked out the window as did she.

Sunlight fell on their faces and warmed their hearts. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, turning her body into his arms. Her feet were between his and her face turned up to meet his. He noticed the worry in her eyes, fine lines in her porcelain skin showed the struggle she was having. He wanted to take her mind away from those thoughts. He sighed and stared deep into her eyes, he didn't have to speak, she knew what he was trying to tell her. She could read him like no other. She smiled softly, as he touched her cheek. She found his hand on her face and turned her eyes back up to meet his.

"Make me forget my doubts and worries!" she softly whispered as he brought his face closer. He nodded and leaned in to kiss the sorrow away. She moved her body closer, her arms wrapped around his neck, her hand briefly stroked his soft hair. Her eyes never left his, as their lips collided her eyes closed and she gave in. His lips crashed on hers, he was careful and gentle. The warmth of his mouth welcomed her.

His hands caressed her face, her hair and massaged her shoulder as he moved his one hand to her back. She tiptoed to deepen the kiss, she needed him close, she craved for him. He reacted by pulling her firmly to his body with his one arm. The kiss they shared became more passionate, their tongues danced together in perfect harmony, they had to catch their breaths from time to time.

Her hands traveled his perfect body, they felt his firms muscles tense as she ran over them. She found the buttons of his shirt and unbuttoned it slowly, slipping her fingers under it to feel his bare chest.   
Her lips moved from his mouth to his jawline, leaving a trail of little pecks. As her lips found his throat she could relax on her feet again, she softly licked his skin as she moved to his chest. Her fingers guided the fabric of his shirt over his shoulders, down his arms until it fell to the floor.   
The revealing skin made her bite her bottom lip, this man was so sexy and sweet at the same time. He was everything she ever desired.

He gently stopped her, whispering against her cheek, "Control freak", he chuckled seeing her reaction.   
She smiled at him because he was right. He felt her relax under his touch, letting her guard down, letting him take control.He knew it wasn't easy for her, but she trusted him.

His fingers hooked under her chin, he guided her head up to meet his lips again. It was the only way to make her relax completely. He held her head to angle her the way he wanted, her hair fell over his fingers. He massaged her scalp as he kissed her sweet lips again. Her arms were loosely dangling near her body, his arm was hooked around her tiny waist, making her helpless to his touch.

He moved his hand from her head to her waist, his hand slipped under the silk fabric of her shirt. He felt her skin burn against his hand. His fingertips left a trail on her skin. She felt the silk leave her body as he moved her shirt over her head and dropped it to the floor. It made them break their kiss, they stood there for a brief moment, gazing at each other.

The desire between them sparked in the air, the sunlight witnessed these two figures standing in front of each other, the love they held back for so long was almost visible. He admired her perfect figure, she was so tiny, at times he was afraid breaking her. He was so careful with her, he had to hold his raw passion he felt being with her. She was totally swept away by his kisses, she felt her body being lifted by his strong arms. Her arms wrapped around his neck, her fingertips combed his hair.

Her eyes were hazy and her head spun as she looked into his warm hazel eyes. She couldn't explain what it was between them, with him she felt at home, relaxed, desired, she felt like she didn't have to pretend to be someone she's not. He had seen her at her best and worst. They had high and lows together, they faced it all.

Her feet finally reached the floor again. His thumbs hooked into her pants and pushed them over her hips down to the floor. As he helped her out of her pants he felt her warm skin under his fingertips. Her skin was soft as silk, she had the most incredible legs he had ever seen.

He picked her up, putting her down next to the pile of clothes on the floor. Her checked her exquisite lingerie of a second. His eyes met her briefly, "You and your good taste... killing me here!" he smirked kissing her collarbone. His fingers found the lace of her bra. He felt her react as he cupped her breasts, the fabric was the only barrier between his hand and her bare flesh. Her knees trembled when he reached the trim of her bra with his mouth.

He felt her struggle to keep standing on her feet. As he kneeled down before her he covered her body with a trail of small kisses making his way down. Her hands were in his hair and follow his movements guiding him over her almost bare body. His hands rested on her thighs, his lips kissed the scar left by the c sections she had. His fingertips traveled near the trim of her bra, over her stomach back to her back. He held her close, letting his head rest on her abs.

She joined him on her knees before him. Her eyes starstruck, completely in love with him, his eyes burned on her skin. She felt desire like never before. Her hand found his neck and she pulled him close to kiss him again. Her lips were full and slightly parted. He responded kissing her back more passionate than before.

He felt her breasts press his chest, his hand unhooked the bra strap on her back, making her startle for a second feeling the strap snap. He carefully cupped her revealed breasts and moved his mouth from her lips towards them. She peeled the bra from her arms, throwing it on the pile of clothes. His mouth and tongue explored her nipples by swirling his warm and wet tongue around it, grabbing and nibbling with his lips and teeth.

She moaned at his heavenly teases, her hands held his head and pulled him close so he wasn't able the leave her chest. He felt her lean back more and more, he grabbed a blanket from the couch behind her, draping it on the floor first. He scooped her into his arms laying her down on the floor.  Her legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him over her.

He gasped feeling her hand slip into his trousers. His back arched the moment he felt her fingers grab his throbbing hardness, pushing the fabric. She helped him out of his trousers and felt his movements pace up. He shivered, her touches and strokes were determined, she definitely knew what she was doing.  

"I didn't see that coming..." he gasped and laughed between his teeth. She smirked and felt him pulling her up again. He straddled her in his lap, her legs still wrapped around him. She felt his arousal grow hard, pulsating under her.

Her hips rocked him hard as he pulled her closer onto his lap. She felt him push hard against her center. His hands were on her breasts, squeezing the flesh gently licking her hard nipples. Her hips bucked hard in response, letting out a moan, grabbing his head with her hands. 

His hands held her hips, guiding her movements over his arousal. Their breaths met in between their kisses and pecks.

She lost herself in her frantic touches and strokes, the friction she created made him crazy.

 

He slipped his thumb between her legs, making her even more aroused than she already was. She felt sparkles of a growing orgasm deep in her stomach building up. Hooking her fingers into his boxers she peeled the fabric down over his legs. She found his erect friend at her touch, she gently squeezed it stroking up and down over and over again. He lost every sense of awareness, she made him crazy.

 

He swallowed hard, not able to say anything, he was about to burst if she kept doing what she was doing. He moans and called her name, his free hand removed her panties swiftly, not losing any time.

 

Her warm and wet center was eager to welcome him again, she angled herself and felt her body fell on him. He grabbed her breasts as she moved over his hardness. Her walls hugged it, her hips grind and rode him hard. She needed this, it was her body taking over.  His mouth worked her nipples as his hips bucked and thrust into her. They both panted hard, wanting release soon.

 

She muttered his name in his ear, whispering how much she missed him. He sucked the hard tips of her nipples hard, she pinched his neck as he did. He gasped and moaned her name, her hips rocked him hard.

 

They paced up some more, they crashed hard on each other. The tension that had build up in their stomach was ready to be released. His fingers circled her sensitive spot hard and steady. She felt an explosion of joy being released in her core as his thrusts became harder and faster, expanding through her body. Her back arched and her eyes rolled back. She cried out his name, still repeating her heavenly moves with her skilled hips. As she felt her insides contract around his cock she heard her name being called out, echoing through the living room. 

 

His head was pressed against her chest, her nipple still half covered by his mouth. Her hands held his head. Scratch marks were visible on his back. Still inside of her, they both breathed hard, her hands caressed his hair softly. His hands were on her back, rubbing it gently, both trying to catch their breaths. 

 

She found his lips, kissing them softly, rubbing his cheeks with her thumbs. She didn't speak, she just looked at him, her eyes smiled when he met her gaze. She leaned in again to kiss him. 

He stopped her, putting his finger to her lips. "Let me just look at you, like this, at this moment, now... " he whispered.

 

Her bare skin was flushed, her hair was wild, her lips were parted, red and full, her eyes were filled with sultriness and desire. Her skin glistered with little sweat drops. 

 

"You are... you are so beautiful," he said resting his head against her chest holding her tightly.

 

"I love you," he muttered under his breath. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first time I saw you, my heart whispered: "That's the one."


End file.
